Incomplete relationships, built in years yet destroyed in seconds. Why humans do what humans do?

It’s easy to fall prey to things we like to believe in where we are the victim. 
It’s hard to imagine that we are the perpetrator of a crime or we are causing someone pain. So what’s the best thing to do? To imagine that we have been wronged. However we are quick to decide that we are wrong because we create a safety zone around ourselves by declaring that we have been wronged. So when we hear or read something that causes us discomfort even if it is only the partial story we are quick to pick it up and declare that we have been wronged. We are rarely ever ready to sit down and accept that we are causing discomfort to another one. If we do it turns into a context of who has done more wrong. That then is followed by a string of apologies. 

Why don’t we have a objective conversation? We do have objective conversations most of he time. We’ve figured out how the earth moves around the sun. We’ve examined the breadth of galaxies. We’ve done all this, I’m sure we’re objective in thought, actions and speech. It’s hard explain but we’ve progressed this much in life through evolution and otherwise and yet we cant have the most basic conversations. That’s precisely the point. We can have those objective conversations outside family and what we consider home. Outside home we are building businesses, social enterprises or leading large groups of people. In those moments we are not really having a fake, protected conversation or we’re not worried about the risks. Maybe we are but we gauge the return and carry on despite the risks . We’re leading the charge and going forth considering all the risks in failure.

In personal relationships its too much to take risks. We don’t want to lose people we love. So what do we do? We become more protective about the whole relationship. That causes us to feign ignorance about attack. Even if we are not vulnerable we feel attacked at the slightest bit. We don’t want to lose people and we don’t want to lose connection. Thus we become the most fragile in front of people we care the most. Is this really fragility? No. Then one might say that it is the act to play victim? No. It’s natural tendency to pick up on the slightest cues without context. In personal relationships when something goes wrong you want to be the first one who feels attacked because you cannot be the perpetrator. You will not be the perpetrator. You have built this relationship and you are not the aggressor and you cannot accept that you are the cause for pain. So you pick up the slightest cues the other person might give or might not give. If you were ready to take risks you would accept that some things out of context seem or sound horrible. However in a personal relationship that is too much of a risk. You would rather crumble and stick to things without context. Crumbling in your opinion doesn’t break down the relationship. It only leads us to blame the other person for their “faults”. At how they are causing pain. They may or may not be but you’ll be the first one to accept that you weren’t causing the pain and the other person was the perpetrator. 

The human mind is tricky but is clever to indicate that its person wasn’t the aggressor or the person who broke everything down. It might be doing that at the same time but it will not accept. Although the story doesn’t end there because will power that causes things to go the other way also originates in the human mind. There is then this tussle inside the brain. It isn’t bad but this is what makes a person whole. This thought and contemplation is what leads people to do the things they do outside home. This is what completes humans and this is the reason home is root of a balanced person. Without struggle there is nothing to conquer. Without struggle there is only defeat.

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Conditions at some schools

I was recently watching a documentary which featured a few faculty members from leading business schools in the US. It wasnt something the schools should be proud about. Its seemed like a sad situation. There are Deans who are responsible for the administration of a school and then the same deans and few other professors who are unsure of their motives behind being part the system. If they were sure, the moivations were misplaced in an educational system.

That brings me to my next point. How does one evaluate motivation? How does one examine motivation? Do actions matter more than motivation? I hesitated to say yes but I cant clearly reject the idea either. In a court of justice there are times when motivation of an action determines the sentene that will be carried out. In day to day life however it is hard to examine motivation. 

There are professors at certain schools who seem to be contributing in a meaningful manner but that is all they are doing. Its hard to gauge whether the system is polluted or these are a few rotten apples. For the benefit of keeping me motivated I would like to beleive that these are a few rotten apples. If you put two and two together youll see Im refering to my motivation this time and not just a general motivation. 

What is my motivation to head back to school? Does it matter what the school is? Does it matter what I think of the school? Is it more important that I make something of this event rather than criticize faults in the system again?

If and when

I do decide to post this it won’t be monumental. I’ll keep writing and then I’ll be active again and then not so much again. For now the prep for school is on. I have some pretty much work to do both in terms of house hunting and academic stuff as well. Things on the home front aren’t too pretty either. Lots of changes I need to make in myself.